The Six Words a Training or Instructor Never Wants To Hear

There are six little words that can strike terror in the heart of a trainer/instructor. You ask what those six little words are - well they are  "I was talking to a friend,". You see those six words are generally followed by "and he said I should......" and with those few words uttered in a matter of seconds months of hard work by the rider, the horse and  myself are undone. When those words come out of a client's mouth I brace myself for a deluge of advice from that friend who apparently believes they know more than a professional trainer/instructor. It also seems that this friend doesn't support their friend (my client) in her need to improve her horsemanship, build a better bond with her horse, become a more confident rider or improve her horse's overall training. This friend seems to be opposed to their friend (my client) expanding her horizons and trying something new with her horse as well.

This advice giving friend always seems to have the answer to any problem someone is having with their horse. Their answers are usually as follows "you just need to ride him longer and harder on the trail" or "you need to get spurs - he's just lazy" or "you're wasting  your time with that stuff like collection or balanced horsemanship because you're just a trail rider - just ride", but wait my favorite of all of them  is " just get back up there, he's fine, let's go". That last word of advice is probably the most dangerous piece of advice anyone can give you. All joking aside if you have a friend or friends who gives you advice like that you need to find new friends.

I have heard it time and time again, "My horse spooked and I got nervous, but my friends told me to just ride it out and that's when I came off,".  My advise as an equine professional is if your horse is spooky or acting strange do not be too proud to climb down - it's always about your safety and also your horse's safety. There is no shame in walking your horse home or back to the trailer and arriving in one piece. I have had clients who were seriously hurt when someone told them to "ride it out". I have also had clients who didn't get physically hurt, but had their confidence was shaken so badly they almost gave up riding.

As for that friend's advice about not needing to improve your riding skills because you are a trail rider, well I say that's a load of manure. Every rider, whether they are on the trail or in the show ring, needs to be the best rider they can be, so their horse is the best he can be. You need to be balanced in the saddle when you ride on the trail for your safety and your horse needs to know how to change leads and collect on the trail. There is nothing wrong with improving your horsemanship and your horse's training - even if you are a trail rider.

So to all those friends out there with all that good advice here is some advice for you - if your friend wants to take lessons to improve her riding skills, wants to work with a trainer or wants to try something new encourage her - don't undermine her. Don't give her advice that might get her hurt and shake her confidence so badly she stops riding. Be a real friend and encourage her to dismount and you do the same. Lastly please don't give her advice contrary to the instructing and training she is receiving from me.

Knowing When To Retire Your Beloved Horse

As your beloved horse reaches his late teens and early twenties there is a nagging question in the back of your mind that you try to ignore, but can’t - “ Should I retire my horse from riding?”.   There are signs your horse will give when it’s time to retire him- reduced vitality or chronic lameness that worsens with work. Lack of enthusiasm for work  and activities that formerly interested him. Swaying as you mount, indicating weakness and/or loss of balance. Stumbling on smooth footing, or other signs of reduced coordination.
    I strongly believe, from experience, that making the decision to retire your horse is almost as hard as the decision we  all face at the end of the horse’s life. So we tend to avoid the decision and we just keep telling ourselves our horse is still fit and ridable, but the truth of the matter is that if we are telling ourselves that it may already be past time to retire that horse.
  Facing the realization that the horse we have logged so many miles on the trail or in show ring with over the years may no longer be able to do that with us is not easy. Our faithful old friend, that we have logged all those miles on for all those years, has become  like Linus’s security blanket for  us. We don’t want to give up the security we have found in that relationship. We trust that horse with our life and we aren’t prepared to give that up, but for our old friend’s sake we have to. I know from experience how difficult it is to let that old trusted friend go into retirement
    It was a nice fall day back in 1995 when I saddled up my gelding Omar to go for a nice fall trail ride. We started down the gravel driveway in front of the barn and Omar stumbled. He went down on his knees, but because he had so much heart he scrambled back to his feet. My heart sank at that moment.  I dismounted Omar and I knew that was the last ride for us. I gave him a tearful pat on the neck and said to him “ I know, I know Omar it’s alright we won’t do this anymore, you’re a good horse”. Omar had never stumbled before in his life, even on  rough trails, so I knew  it was time and there would be no more rides. The truth of the matter was I knew before that day, but I just didn’t want to face it.
   One of the reasons I couldn’t face that reality was Omar was my first horse. I had been riding him since I was 12  years old and  he was my security blanket. He was the horse that I could do anything with -from riding with just a halter on the trail, to riding down a Parade route, to ponying young horses off to being able to unload him from the trailer on a road trip to stretch his legs at a Holiday Inn parking lot  - he did it, did it all, and I trusted him.  Even though at the time I had a young Arabian mare  I was training to step in for Omar, that I thought the world of, she still wasn’t Omar.
    We all need to keep a couple of  things in mind as we face that decision. First you need to consider your horse’s health and well being. You don’t want to cause your horse pain, discomfort or injury.  If you’re not sure consult a Veterinarian and have them examine your horse. A Vet can give you an idea of  your horse’s overall health and should discuss whether retirement is the best for your horse or not. Your retiree will need to be with horses that don’t harass him, have plenty of room to exercise himself without over doing it, a shelter and, of course, a good nutritional feed for his age. Retirement doesn’t exclude some quality time with your old friend - grooming, in hand exercise or even an occasional ten minute ride at a walk around the stable yard, just don’t over do.
     You need to remember that building a relationship and bonding with that younger horse will take time, so be patient and don’t  expect it to be the same as it was with  your retiree. It can be difficult bonding with a younger horse, but it will come and, while it may not be the same type of relationship as with your retired horse, it can still be a good. Try not to make comparisons  to your retiree. You just have to realize that, like humans, horses are all different with different personalities, weaknesses and strengths. Sometimes finding something new and different to do with your new horse will help you bond. Take your time and don’t forget it’s alright to miss riding your retiree, just make sure you don’t get  caught up in that to the point that you stop riding entirely or make a bad choice. I found myself in that place and I almost made a really  bad decision and sold a great Arabian mare who I trained myself. Sadly I lost that mare in 2013 at the age of 23, but like Omar she has a special place in my heart along with some other great horses that are still in my life today.
   “ No ride is ever the last one. No horse is ever the last one you will have. Somehow there will always be other horses, other places to ride them.” - Monica Dickens.

Women and Horses Mind, Spirit & Body - More Than A Formula For Confidence Building

In March of 2007 I developed Women and Horses Mind, Spirit & Body confidence building clinics to provide  women with a comfortable, friendly environment to discuss the problems and fears they were having with their horses. Since that first clinic the program has expanded to include assisting women with reaching their goals with their horses, whether in the show ring or on the trail.

Whether it's a confidence building clinic, private instruction or any other type of training clinic I use the same three phase training method - Mind, Spirit & Body - to help riders improve their riding skills. Improving your riding skills will assist you in connecting with horse, build  your confidence as a rider and help you and your horse be the best you can be together. 

Mind- In this first phase the participants are asked to discuss goals, problems, fears and concerns. Then the participants are asked to enter the arena with their horses in-hand. I then assess each participant’s relationship with her horse.

Mind Phase 

Spirit-  In this second phase I examine each participant’s comfort level with her horse. We  talk
about ground training techniques to build their confidence and their horse’s confidence in
them. They perform a series of ground exercise with their horses that will assist them in            becoming a confident leader which will in turn build their horse’s confidence to follow them.
We also discuss physical pain the horse may be experiencing and how it is affecting both
horse and rider.

Spirit Phase 

Body- In this third and final phase participants will mount their horse and perform a series of exercises. Participant's confidence levels are assessed while riding. Participant's riding ability is assessed as well to help them improve their confidence level through proper and balanced horsemanship.

Body Phase 

While I came up with the Mind, Spirit & Body concept to help horsewomen who had lost their  confidence due to fear issues it has expanded into a training method that helps any rider achieve her goals.

The Lessons He Taught Me

My beloved Morab gelding Omar
a 22 year partnership 

Omar was my first horse. Omar was a very intelligent horse and when I first began riding him I was as green as grass, so in many ways he was my first riding instructor.

Omar taught me to sit up straight in the saddle, keep my heels down and to use my legs and seat to ride. He was stickler for that, if  I wasn't seated properly and riding properly he would let me know. It's funny how I had people around me giving me instructions, but it was Omar's instructions that I listened to most often.

Like any good instructor Omar always made certain I was sitting up straight balanced in the saddle and paying attention. Sometimes his lessons were a little tough, like when he taught me about never cantering your horse towards home. That day he also taught me to stop worrying about stopping the horse  and to just ride the horse. I kept pulling back on the reins and he didn't respond, but when I relaxed some and began to really ride he finally slowed down and stopped. That lesson I never forgot.

Omar taught me enjoying the ride or having fun was fine, but never lose your focus on the horse. I was fooling around one day riding Omar bareback and trotting him around poles ( pole bending) which was fine, but I was also talking to fellow boarder at the stable and lost my focus. Omar got my focus back by making a rather quick and unexpected turn which caused me to lose my balance and hit the dirt with thud on my rear end. I swear the expression on his face was " Okay kid are you done fooling around let's focus here,". If it hadn't been for Omar I wouldn't have learned about collection of gaits, lengthening your horse's strides,  how to soften your horse and making him flexible. Omar taught me to be balanced and correct in the saddle to help the horse be balanced and correct. He taught how how to communicate to my your horse what I wanted him to do through my hands, legs and seat together.

The experience you have with your first horse you will never have again. I guess it's like your first love. I realized this when I was training my young mare who was the horse that would fill Omar's shoes. You see that mare would look at me like " How'd I do-did I get right-what's next?" when I was training her. I realized that I never saw that expression on Omar's face. Omar's expression was always," Okay that' s better, but you need work a little hard. Not bad kid,". He was the trainer and I was the one who needed training. I think we both new that.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I swear one day when I rode past Omar's stall during a training sessions with my mare he nodded his just slightly and looked right at me as if to say, " I'm proud of you, there is nothing more I can teach you kid,".  Thank you Omar for helping me become the horsewoman I am today. Still miss you old friend everyday.